Next Time He'll Think
by courderouge2006
Summary: Season 6. Lois is having relationship issues. Who will be there for her? Songfic, one shot. "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood.


Clark was up in the loft, his laptop on the coffee table in front of him, going through the files Chloe had sent him to look o

Clark was up in the loft, his laptop on the coffee table in front of him, going through the files Chloe had sent him to look over. He was tracking strange stories that had similarities to the Zoners that had escaped. Running a hand through his hair, he sighed hearing his cell phone ring. Grabbing it, he checked Caller ID... "Why are you calling me right now?" he asked to no one in particular.

Flipping it open, he rubbed his eyes, not sure he wanted to know what this might be about. "Hello?... No I haven't seen… What?... She said what..." Clark's eyes went wide. Standing, he paced the loft. "No I don't know where she is, but I'll find her, don't worry."

Sitting down, Clark flipped his phone shut. Imagining a visual to go with what he had just heard Clark had to laugh a little. "Why am I not surprised Lois?"

--

She stormed through the parking lot, looking around at the cars and trucks. "Where are you, you selfish, two faced, lying, pain in the ass…"

She finally found it. Smirking with an evil gleam in her eye. Setting her bag down, she reached in, pulling out the crowbar. "Payback is a bitch…" Stepping up, she reared back, and swung!

_**Right now he's probably slow dancing with a bleach-blond tramp,  
And she's probably getting frisky...  
Right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot a whiskey...**_

The window shattered, spraying the front seat with glass. Walking around, Lois swung at the passenger side window, smiling as it exploded. "And right now, so am I!" She rained hard smashes into the door with the crowbar, denting it deeper and deeper.

_**Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick, showing her how to shoot a combo...  
And he don't know...**_

"Running around with his stupid bleached bimbos… tiny little supermodels… fake, fake, fake!"

Dropping the crowbar, she walked to the front of the truck, picking up a rock. "Enjoy it you bastard!" She threw the rock hard, sending it arching into the windshield splintering it.

_**That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up four wheel drive,  
Carved my name into his leather seats...  
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights,  
Slashed a hole in all four tires...  
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.**_

Lois walked up to the truck hood. Pulling out her keys, she started to scratch a message into his hood.

Pulling a bat out of her bag, Lois walked around the truck, taking her time on each and every light she could find. Climbing up onto the hood, she reared back, finishing the job on the windshield.

"Lois, get down from there!"

Turning, she saw Clark. "Look Smallville, I don't have time for this. I've got work to do." Climbing onto the roof, she kept pelting it with the bat, denting the metal in.

Clark hopped on the hood, picking Lois up over his shoulder. Dropping to the pavement, he set her down. "Lois, this is insane! This is vandalism, stop before someone calls the cops!"

Lois shoved him, pushing herself away. "I don't care, I hate that bastard! He told me he had to be out of town on business this week, but do you know where he is Clark? He's inside right now, hitting on some cheap blonde slut! They've been together every night this week, and I'm not dealing with it anymore. He's not going to do this to me!"

_**Right now, she's probably up singing some  
White-trash version of Shania karaoke...  
Right now, she's probably saying "I'm drunk"  
And he's a thinking that he's gonna get luck.**_

Clark looked at her, sighing. "Lois, are you sure that Oliver isn't off where he said he was?"

Hands on her hips, Lois walked to the front of the truck, pointing.

Clark followed her and saw the license plate. "QWN 5." Shaking his head, he looked back at her. "Ok, I guess you're right."

"Why would he do this Clark? I… I did everything he's asked. I went to his stupid parties, I played the perfect little princess girlfriend. Why?" Lois sat on the curb, her hands tangled in her hair.

Clark sat down next to her. He couldn't believe that Oliver would do something like this. Focusing his eyes, he looked into the club, glancing around… his face hardened when he found him, all over a blonde that looked a lot like Lois had described.

_**Right now, he's probably dabbing on three dollars worth of that bathroom Polo...  
Oh, And he don't know... ohhh**_

Clark stood up, holding his hand out.

Lois looked up, confused. "What do you want Smallville?"

"The bat."

Lois, even more confused, held it up to him. "What are you going to do?"

Walking to the back of the truck, Clark glanced at the club again, his hands tightening on the bat. "Finish the job." Clark pulled the bat back, slamming it hard into the back. Lois swore she saw the truck move forward.

_**That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up four wheel drive,  
Carved my name into his leather seats...  
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights,  
Slashed a hole in all four tires...  
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.**_

Lois stared, shocked at this side of him. "Smallville, what are you doing?"

Clark smashed in the back passenger door. "No one hurts my friends."

Lois watched as he slammed the bat into the truck again and again.

_**Ohh... I might of saved a little trouble for the next girl,  
Cause the next time that he cheats...  
Oh, you know it won't be on me!  
Noo... not on me...**_

Clark walked over to the front of the truck, crouching down. He pulled the vanity plate off of the front bumper, holding it out to her.

Lois took it, smiling a little. "This will make a nice trophy. Thanks Smallville."

Walking down the sidewalk, Clark had the duffel tossed over his shoulder. Lois carried the license plate, laughing when she looked at it. "So how did you know that I was on the warpath?"

"Chloe called me. She said you had called and were spouting off things about 'that bastard and his harlot' and 'I swear I'm gonna kick his'… well you know."

_**Cause I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up four wheel drive,  
Carved my name into his leather seats...  
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights,  
Slashed a hole in all four tires...  
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats**_

Lois looked over at him, smiling softly. "So why did you come Smallville? To help me or to stop me?"

Clark rubbed his face. "I guess at first it was to stop you. But… I couldn't let someone get away with hurting a friend like that."

Lois smiled, laying her head on his shoulder. "Thanks… Clark."

After a while of walking in silence, Clark spoke up. "So do you think Oliver will figure out who did that to his truck?"

Lois chuckled. "I think he'll get the picture."

_**Ohh... Maybe next time he'll think... before he cheats...**_

Oliver walked out of the club with the blonde on his arm, smiling. "Well as a matter of fact I have a Hummer. Have you ever ridden in one of those?"

She giggled, replying in the negative.

"Well tonight is your lucky night then. It's right…" Oliver stopped… staring. His mouth was wide open, but no sound came out. The only noise in the lot was his keys hitting the ground, and the faint chirp of the alarm as they did. "Wha… what happened to my… my truck!"

The blonde stood there, sighing. "So does this mean the ride is off?"

Oliver turned, glaring at her. Walking back to his ruined truck, he saw the hood. Leaning up he could read the message: "Stay away from bad dye jobs remember?"

Oliver slammed his hand into the hood. "LOIS!!"

_**Ohh... before he cheats...**_


End file.
